IN Relationship ON
Dating someone is a very hard task. It has rules, risks, and failures too. Do you know what is more difficult than being in a relationship? 'Rules,' they make or break a relationship.
The most communal and one of the biggest reasons why it's so difficult to date someone or fall in love is the fear of promise; i.e., commitment. Tags can scare some people, but for others, the doubt of where does one stand in a relationship is also alarming. At present, modern dating has become uncertain and puzzling.
For example, some couples have commitment issues and they never seem to accept the terms of being "official." While some of them are unwilling to discuss the tags (labels), others are left with the option of not knowing if that respective person is the correct one for them or not.
And, sometimes, dating can also fail if your spouse is not faithful to you. Make sure not to commit these mistakes and have a happy life.
You are sitting across each other and especially when it's about your first date, note this, you are there to know each other and not fool each other. Come out with your true self instead of trying to pretend someone you're not and speak what you think about her/him. Don't hold back!
Stop fooling your date with saying things like, I feel you or I can understand what you're going through. Don't take them for fools, thinking that this will help you get the second date. My dear, in today's world that person sitting across you has had enough exposure to realise that to feel for each other takes time and is never instant.
You cannot know all about her in an instance, a date or multiple for that matter. So, instead of focussing only on her life, talk about the beauty around and try knowing your date's perception. Do try to know about their personal life but s/he should not feel uncomfortable about any questions you ask.
Everyone does this, you don't have to keep asking and converting the date into an interrogation. You have to be a good listener, what if s/he wants to know more about you but you're not concerned. This might lead them to drop future dates too, beware as to how much you ask.
You can't feel too much for her on the first date or multiple; it takes a lifetime to know someone. That doesn't mean you have to stop caring about her/his comfort level, apply your common sense and improvise by making your date comfortable whenever you feel something is off.
You don't have to pretend but everyone likes a good treatment. Pulling a chair for her, picking up the check et al are gestures which make her feel special and trust me they never get old.
Don't reveal too much of your personal life but don't hold back also. If s/he asks you about something and you don't want to talk about, then tell them. This will help establish grounds between the two of you and also build a relationship of trust.
You don't have to dwell on too much after the date is over, stay in touch. Try to draw a line between how frequently should you call and when you shouldn't otherwise if your date starts to ignore you then it is not good for you.
We live in the times of one-night-stands where people are eager to jump in bed, that doesn't mean you also have to follow the same. People are also getting divorced or sued for sexual harassments; do you want to be a part of that? Proceed at your own pace instead of what the world is up to.
Invite your date to family functions or a friend's party; introduce her/him to your closed ones. In this way, they'll know more about you and also understand whether you are their cup of tea or not. And, if not then your next date will not be taking place with that person, but if you don't send an invite then you've lost the potential next date too; probably.
Make sure what kind of surprise are you planning, think before you act. Especially if you're planning to appear in front of your date's house in the middle of the night, s/he shouldn't run into a corner because her/his parents don't know about you yet.
Take my word for it, never spend more than you can. There will come a time when your pocket will go light, then what do you think will happen? You want to present a gift, I'm not refusing the idea of purchasing one, yet it is just an object. It will not define the love you both will have in future.
Coming out with your true self and letting her know who you are from within doesn't mean that you don't give importance to your date. You should put efforts in dressing up, which makes your date feel that s/he matters to you and you're ready to take that extra step. Don't go in casuals on your date.Dress to impress!
Well, after you decide to date further and make the bond between you two stronger than before; don't take the expectations too high. You should be pragmatic and understand that having unrealistic expectations will only sabotage your relationship and nothing else.
Lastly, it's okay if you plan to invite your date to a family/friend's party but never to a double date. Whether it's a surprise or is planned, beware double date is another name for Pandora's box.
Loved it, never commit these mistakes then. And, also share it with your friends so that they also know.
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Updated by Cnishq