10 Ways Salman Khan's Unmarried Status Would Affect Your Life in Future

Bhaai ki shaadi, humaara sir dard!

10 Ways Salman Khan's Unmarried Status Would Affect Your Life in Future

The laddoo of shaadi, you eat or you reject, regret persists in both the cases!
But...when we're discussing Salman's unmarried status, it's lesser about him rejecting the laddoo and more about us wanting him to grab and engulf one. The nation cares about his marriage so much that it at times looks like a mission impossible with us all being Tom Cruise, ever ready get the job done for him.
But guess what, everything happens for a reason and if we, the youth, care so much about his marriage, there definitely is some motive that we carry. Damn it, the rationale is simple, Salman's unf#*%ed relationship status can create havoc in our lives and here are the ten situations that can prove it...    

Situation 1: "Arey Salman ne bhi toh nahi ki shaadi abhi tak." 


If you ever happen to say this to your mom, citing that Salman is already 52-year-old and is yet to tie knots, your trick might well attract a bad situation for you. She'll take no time in turning towards you and knocking you down with thousand other logics negating Salman's relationship status ever had anything to do with yours. 

Certainly not qualifying for an analogy.    


Situation 2: "Toh tu Salman nahi hai Bhaai, uske paas 60-pack abs hain."  


And in case, you somehow survived your mom, your married friends are omnipresent to pin you down to your weak knees.
They'll tell you what you already know, all over again and again. They'll tell in pointers that Sallu Bhaai has some sixty-pack abs, he's richie rich, he knows how to sing bad and not give a shit about it.  

All this would further kill your confidence.

Situation 3: "Sallu Bhaai 50 ki umar mein 20 waali ko date kar rahe hain aur main..."   


Accept the fact, Salman today is at that stage of his life where he can date a wide range of ladies, starting right from a 20-year-old beauty to a 55-year-old wine. He has a good variety to choose from which we poor souls lack.
We are 20-somethings and we can't even date a 20-something, shocking and depressing enough?
Read ahead... 

Situation 4: "Mujhse Shaadi Karogi can have a sequel having Salman paired up with..." 

Situation 4:

The 2004 superhit where Salman asks Mujhse Shaadi Karogi (after having already told the nation, Hum Dil De Chuke Sanam in 1999) can see a sequel. But this time around, he can pair up with the likes of Akshay Khanna/Uday Chopra and who knows if Sajid Khan would like to direct it.
So, a perfect mockery having an all-unmarried 40+ cast.   

Situation 5: "Forget Syria, ABX news and Kal-Tak find Salman's fake news more important."

Situation 5:

Most people still do not know who Bashar al-Assad is and what's the prime reason behind the Syrian Civil War and all the credit goes to our 'responsible' news channels who'll keep showing fake news of Salman's mystery girls in the primetime just to take some TRP home.   

Situation 6: "Salman might never again make a sensible movie because..." 

Situation 6:

...his senses would all be dead with all the 'When would you get married?' questions!
And, ohh... in the image text above, just replace 'Ranveer' with Salman and 'Deepika' with Katrina... to get another perfect AIB roast.   

Situation 7: "Salman might even start hosting MERA KHUD ka SWAYAMVAR."   

Situation 7:

So once Salman walks the path of Rakhi Sawant and Rahul Mahajan, our Sonu Ke Titu Sweety stud Kartik Aryan would have one more super sexy 7-minute dialogue completely dedicated to Sallu Bhaai's social trial.  

Situation 8: "He'd keep launching flop doppelgangers of his successful exes." 

Situation 8:

After Aishwarya Rai, Salman gifted us with Sneha Ullal.
After Katrina Kaif, Salman gifted us with Zareen Khan.
After Iulia Vantur, he might get us Cate Blanchett...!!!
While the third deal won't be bad at all!

Situation 9: "Girls in the locality might start sending Kabootars to Sallu in order to marry him." 

Situation 9:

I mean why not. No one has his personal contact number and Shera Bhaai is already not letting us touch him. So the young-gen girls have no other choice but to choose the good old days Bhagyashree styled method of sending a pigeon in order to propose the bachelor.
*Guys crying* 

Situation 10: "The whole Bollywood might have to create a function to ask him to marry..." 

Situation 10:

...and we'll have to watch it on a lousy unproductive Sunday. How mean! Even Sanju Baba, SRK and Aamir would have to show up while we waste our time watching a show that will add nothing to our life, ever. 

Meanwhile, Salman would read this story and all your comments only to say... 

Meanwhile, Salman would read this story and all your comments only to say... 

So wait not, comment, share and let Salman know how his unmarried status is affecting you. 

Also, ask your friends to share it so that the story reaches Iulia Vantur and she finally drops a 'let's get married' text message on Salman's number, coz she does not need a pigeon.   
Gif source: Giphy