I feel blessed to be a mother, I really do! And not because I have my family to support or friends to like and comment on the pictures I share on my social media profiles, it is because of that part of me I gave birth to who looks up to me and loves me immaterial of my looks and mood swings.
Motherhood is blissful but comes with its own set of ups and downs that bog you down time and again. Every mother is different, and so is every child. While I race my brains to keep my little one busy with some constructive work, there are some who struggle every single moment to keep their babies born with special needs from nasty comments, sudden sickness, unforeseen situations, etc. Pam De Almeida, the blogger of Facebook page Slice of Life, falls in the latter category and shares a first-hand experience of what it is being a mother of a special needs child. Before we read ahead, I want to bow down to Pam for her dedication and courage. She is not only a super mother but an incredible woman as well.
Through her blog on Slice of Life, Pam shares the secrets of being a mother to a special needs child. Pam mentions how spending 14 days at a hospital and taking care of Sophia has fetched her deeper insight into life.
"I'll admit, I am pretty hesitant to share this, but after a few days of thought, I decided I would like to share my secrets."
Pam adds that she is told how strong she is, but in reality, she is anything but strong. She has her bouts of anxiety, breaks down and cries, but gets up and fulfills her responsibilities every day because there is no other option.
"And this doesn't make me special. This doesn't make me brave. This certainly doesn't make me a super mom, because in reality, if you were in my shoes, you would be doing this, too. Because ultimately, isn't that what moms do for our kids?!"
This brave mom has been told in the face how Sophia is a drain on society and that she should have aborted her to save embarrassment. Pam is not living in a bubble and knows there is discrimination, hate and prejudice that rule the society, but the insensitive remarks of people hurt her, every single time and she is unable to control her tears.
"I know it seems like I let them just roll off my back. I know it seems like I have a thick skin. But I cry. I cried every time someone said these mean things. But I also moved on. Even though these words hurt, I made a point to move forward in spite of them, and not let them have power over me."
Pam has lost some friends who deserted her assuming she already has her hands full and needs some space. She is upset about the fact that she was left with the space that she never asked for and wasn't understood or supported by those who she was close to. This mother of a special needs child is heartbroken to see the space widening between her and her friends and that perhaps, they are never going to be meet each other again.
"What I want to say to them now is, I needed you. When my life got crazy busy with appointments, therapies, doctor's visits, hospital stays, and treatments, I needed you. I didn't need space. There was already too much space."
The fear of death doesn't let her rest peacefully. She is hesitant to mention it, but she does live in a state of constant fear of death, especially for Sophia. Sophia is vulnerable to diseases and at a high risk of catching every sickness, which leaves her worried. But she adds that she doesn't let it consume her, though she panics, a lot!
"But it's there… hidden deep into the back corner of your brain and your heart because you know how awful it feels to even think this. To feel this way. And every time you do think about 'it,' you quickly tuck it back into that deep corner and feel ashamed for even thinking it, no matter how brief."
Despite the challenges, the mean remarks thrown her way, the insensitive and cold reaction of friends, Pam believes in herself and is not the one to give up. She is determined to face all of it with her daughter and continues to brave through tough times.
She is one strong lady, and we love her for the positive stride she has adopted.