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IN Lifestyle ON 29 Nov, 2016
Can you eat a burger without the bun?
That's what people think about marriages without sex. As like the burgers without the bun, what's the point of calling a sexless marriage a 'marriage', if it isn't accurately complete?
If we look through the facts trend, it says that an average couple has coitus three times in a month and meanwhile, an estimated one in 20 marriages is sexless. Means, some are having a much more while others are enjoying a lot less.
So, when you say 'no sex' for one month, what does that mean exactly?
Here is the survey, of married couples with regular sex lives, who were asked to desist from making love for 30 days.
Want to see the impact on their relationship?
Judy and Chris have been together for last eight year, and they have a son named Toby, who is five years old. Judy, 37, is an assistant in a firm of solicitors and Chris, 41, is a painter and they do sex twice a week.
Just in three days, Chris felt like missing something. And, as the week crawled on, his frustration built and by the fifth morning, he was sharply irritable.
Even Chris planned a lovely holiday in their third week, but Judy kept stuck in her rules and didn't break the fast.
Even as a busy working mother, or no matter how tired Judy get, she always make time for sex with husband. And, with this experiment, she was frightened as a month without sex would do untold damage to their marriage life.
In a few days, she got irritable about little things and the reaction baffled Chris.
The experiment made them realise that without sex, they felt less loved and more insecure, and then decided to keep on making it a priority in the marriage.
Chris said, "I'd endured what felt like the longest month of my life, but one positive point is that I won't take our sex life for granted ever again."
Natalie and Nick, from Worcester, have been married for seven years. Nick, 32, is a builder and has three children from previous marriage. They have sex on an average four times a week.
The first few days of sobriety were easier for Nick, but, by the first weekend, he found it difficult. He tried everything to divert his mind, he worked in his garden to build a hut for his rabbit and redecorated his room.
But, later, their two weeks without sex made them hyper-sensitive and bristling.
Even having fertility problems to Natalie, their desires never dampened. For the first few days, she managed, but by the fifth day, to let off some steam, she had to go out to a party with her friends.
For Natalie, sex has always been a great, and natural way of relieving anxiety, so she could only last for a fortnight. And, then she continued her fast.
Nick said, "Going without sex has taught us how important intimacy is in our marriage, and ultimately we feel even closer for having discovered that."
According to Natalie, the "courtship" phase made them more amorous with each other, and they laughed like they hadn't in years. She said, "It felt like, with sex off the cards, we worked harder on the other side of our relationship."
John and Yasmin have been together for 35 years and have two grown-up children. John, 60, was an HR manager before retiring and now works as a driver, while, Yasmin, 65, is a teacher. They have an average sex of two to three times in a week.
For the first six days of their serenity, John barely thought about it, though it felt strange for a moment later. And, during the second week, he felt that their relationship is much more than sex.
He said, "Even if for whatever reason, we were unable to have sex again, I'd still want to spend the rest of my days with Yasmin."
Yasmin always suffered from insomnia, but sex relaxes her and enable her to drift off the sleep. And, the experiment made her frustration out. By the end, she was bursting with zest to make love to John.
John said, "This experiment has made me more confident."
On the other side, for Yasmin, going without sex didn't have lasting negative impact on their relationship, it just was that they missed out on something they both enjoyed.
Besides these stories and sceptics, what are your views on the same? Share your thoughts by leaving comments below. And, share this story with your friends.
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