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IN People ON 21 Nov, 2016
Today, with the advent of Tinder and Grindr, more and more people are finding avenues to date new people. But that's not all these apps are used for. Many use these dating apps to hook-up with people for a little one-night adventure. One night stands are on the rise, and they're probably at their highest at present.
But not all one night stands go the way they should. Some end up in ways that no one expected an one night stand to, and most of such stories turn out to be pretty damn hilarious! And here we have a collection of such anecdotes that will crack you up.
Check them out!
"I went home with a girl who I thought wanted to have sex. We were fooling around, getting pretty heavy. She was clearly into me, but when I went to make a move, she gently pushed me away and said, "Nobody can ever make me feel as good as I can, but it's better when someone watches."
She wanted me to sit there and watch her pleasure herself. Turns out I had an early meeting."
As funny as this is, it is weird AF! Isn't it?
"I wake up to him yelling. 'What?! My dad wasn't supposed to come home so early!' (He had told me he just lived with roommates.)
He tells me to jump in his closet even though I'm fully nude and my clothes are in the living room. I start to argue but he insists, so I get in there. For the next hour, I hear them making small talk.
I realize I really have to pee, but they just drag on and I'm dancing around. And then the guy I slept with left for work!!!
Now I can hear the dad making breakfast downstairs and just settling in. I panic, how am I gonna get my clothes?!
Forget my clothes, I'll use his! So I took some stuff from the closet and ran for my life full speed through the house with sex hair and a long men's shirt down to my knees.
As I booked it to my car, I heard the dad yell: "you can do better!" You know what? He was right."
Don't know how the father-son relation's gonna be if and when the son finds out!
"I was studying abroad for a semester in Brazil, and the university had one night a week where their students would take the exchange students out on the town.
Usually, it would be a club or bar, or sometimes just drinking on the beach. This one night we were at a club, and for some reason I indulged myself a lot more than usual. It was my first blackout.
I woke up the next morning in a strange room, strange bed, with a cute Brazilian girl beside me. She wakes up and I quickly realize she doesn't speak any English.
This was only a couple weeks into my stay, so my Portuguese was practically non-existent, to be honest. My wallet was missing, my shirt was ripped. She wanted to go another round that morning (which I did so I could at least remember it this time).
But then I realized I was in an area of the city that isn't exactly the safest. Had to break out her computer and use Google translate to tell her to call me a cab, and then have her loan me money to get back to my dorm. Oh, and replacing credit and debit cards overseas is a breeze, let me tell you.
Moral of the story - nothing matters, I had sex."
The guy was very lucky though. Had it not been for the girl's help, he'd probably have to go through a lot more trouble!
"Got insanely drunk at a hipster bar and met this cute pixie chick. We went back to her place, got it on, and passed out on her bed.
Or what I thought was her bed.
When I awoke the next morning, it became abundantly clear that she had absolutely no furniture in her room.
Every "surface" (this includes bed and makeshift desk), was comprised solely of dirty clothes. Literal mountains of them.
It didn't smell TOO bad, considering, but still wasn't pleasant. I sneaked out while she was burrowing deeper into the bed-pile."
How can anyone ever have these many clothes?
"Woke up next to a woman with swastikas tattooed on her chest. Never drank gin before that night, and haven't since."
Safe to say, that freaked him out for good!
"Had a super crazy one night stand right after HS with a teachers pet girl who I thought always hated me. I was still living at my parents' place so I snuck her in. In the morning my dad came right on into my room to grab my car keys for whatever reason.
I was totally naked, half covered, and the girl was still asleep, topless and uncovered.
The look I shared with my dad in that moment was the strangest combination of "good work boy" and "you are in so much trouble" I have ever experienced.
I had to blanket up and take my keys downstairs where he was waiting. He put a lock on the liquor cabinet after that, but apart from that I think he was pretty proud."
Maybe even the dad was confused as to what the apprppriate reaction and response should be!
"I woke up next to someone and immediately regretted the decision I had made drunkenly the night before. So I get up slowly to be as quiet as I could and started putting on my clothes, ready to leave.
I got halfway down the staircase before I realized I was trying to sneak out of my own house."
My question is, what got you so confused that you couldn't even recognize your own home?
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