Am I not well? I'm feeling jealous!
May God make me well soon...!!
I guess, I am not the only one who is feeling jealous right now. Many are sailing on the same boat, am I right or am I totally right? Well, if you weren't jealous you would have never opened this piece of writing. So let's accept the universal truth that no one in this supposedly carefree world is not jealous of anyone. Emotions are many and jealousy is one of them.
What I am trying to portray is, "I am not a supporter of jealousy, the only thing that revolves around my head is what's mine is mine." But wait, does it mean that I am selfish and don't want to share something which I own? Yes, till now, I believed in sharing love, but I didn't believe in sharing the person to whom I love. But what if that person starts to get mad on my strange behavior and leaves me?
Probably this is how I'll feel "Possibly, during the state of jealousy, I left my happy-go-lucky nature far behind and the only thing that he liked in me, my nature, also fell apart. Nobody but I can fix this.''
I was a victim of this disease called jealousy, and I know the pain of bearing it for this long. I don't want you to suffer from the same, and hence I'm here with the stages that I went through while getting into this dark phase of life.
For a happy life, you need not be very rich. Getting love and concern from the person, you love the most can turn out to be the best fuel for running life cycle smoothly. And this is exactly how the case was with me. I was more than happy to get his concern rather than getting any expensive gift. I used to giggle like a kid whenever I was with him. And I guess, this is what drove him towards liking me in the first place.
What else could have I expected? Obviously, it was 'LOVE'! Greediness in the soul can be toxic and this started to prove itself right. Days that were generally passed laughing and giggling turned gloomy, all thanks to my greed.
Being a writer, you all can imagine how creative and imaginary my mind can be. Writers are never able to get away from their fictitious world, and right there arises a problem.
My imaginary world where I am none lesser than his soulmate went into a deep mess. The outcome of which will leave you stunned and of course the suffering can not be understood any better than me. Let's see what all stages I went through, for you to avoid any kind of mishap in the future in your relationships.
Remember: No learning can be better than the one through experience and here is what the experience is speaking and not a person.
There is no denying the fact that curiosity is the mother of all inventions. And leading your curious mind to the right direction can make you a millionaire in professional life and help your love-life as well. But, my curiosity took a wrong way when I started being curious about every small thing that he indulges in or does daily.
Poking too much can ruin a healthy relation!
"Never make your obsession your addiction."
An obsession of something is never harmful, but once it turns into an addiction, it can produce opposite results. My fault was that I was highly obsessed (which turned into addiction) towards him and now see, 'I am left with nothing, nothing at all!'
This worsened our relation.
I thought I am nothing more than a chunk of garbage whose value is not of a single penny for him. But then I pondered, introspected and discovered that I was that coal, which needed its time to turn into a diamond and that's exactly what he wanted.
My failure to understand him ruined us!
This is the stage that brings the truth out of the curtains. The times when you find that there is a lot in the world that can make your partner smile and make him feel interested, that's when the mental trauma strikes. This is when you start to mess up everything. And in the end, the ball doesn't remain in your court.
Yes, with the passage of time, the relationship fades.
Accepting you're wrong is one of the toughest jobs. Not everyone has the talent of taking/listening to his/her bad. So was the case with me.
For me, accepting my wrong and listening someone else's good from his mouth was like drinking a glass of bitter truth. Acceptance was the word which was missing in me for decades. Due to which I lost to welcome many good times in my life.
So at last, a small piece of suggestion to you all from my side is, "start accepting rather than expecting."
Do share your views in the comments section if I anyway helped you and you can also share your story if you ever went through these stages.
Take care, meet you soon!