This story now
IN Lifestyle ON 25 Oct, 2016
Should girls ask for forgiveness for having pre-marital sex?
After all, it's your body's need!
Do I have to ask people before having sex with someone? Yes, I am an Indian girl where sex toys are not at all normal. So, what do I do if I am ambitious enough that I do not want to marry early so that I can pursue my dreams?
Okay even if I get a sex toy, what about a guy's emotional touch... that awakens all my organs and senses? Yeah, I might be sounding very horny at this point in time as if I've just completed watching porn and started writing down here to take out my frustration. But hey dude, it is the right of my hormones that is speaking and not the lust towards a guy.
We are always taught to be pristine to get a 'Rajkumar.' But I have the same question for males that are they taught to be same to get a beautiful and lovely wife?
It is sometimes really tough to be a virgin and carry out a no-sex relationship. Well, if you don't know that how is it exactly like... then read forward, I'll help you know.
Voice of a girl:
You know even I never had a boyfriend because it was related with my so called 'self-respect'. What would people say? What would happen if my friend catches me hanging out with my boyfriend? But apparently, these questions were not mine originally... these were society driven, in which I have spent my whole childhood and teenage.
Coming to the point of view what girls have regarding this... yes girls always want that freedom to easily be with guys without the thought of 'log kya sochenge.' Only in order to maintain the respect and image in the society, she restrains herself from her wishes.
You could have respected the time we spent together in bed. The closeness! The touch! The warm breaths we released on each other! I loved that peck you gave me on my nose in the middle of everything! Our eye-contact!... But amidst of all these, I never realized that while I was busy making memorable moments with you, thinking of spending the rest of my life with you, you were busy having 'just sex.'
Because as per our so-called Indian culture, I no more qualify to marry you. Now, I couldn't even marry another guy because of this. Is this the parameter to judge women? Who invented this? And why we're following them in the 21st century? Ask yourself!
You know there's a tradition in a village in India, where the continuation of the marriage of a couple depends on the breaking of hymen of the woman on their first night. To elaborate, a woman bleeds on losing her virginity, because her hymen breaks down when she is having her first intercourse. But actually, the hymen can also break during her younger years if she was physically more active.
In other words, the couple makes out on the first night, and if the woman bleeds, then only they will be continuing as husband and wife.
Okay now talking on another part... is there any way to check a man's virginity? Or I should say that even if any way is invented, then also, that will not be implemented in India.
Also, what do our husbands have to do with our past? Were they present at that time? Are they aware of what circumstances we went through?
For the parents:
Every daughter understands their parents' expectations, and it is important for them to know that their daughters do not intend to hurt them ever. But it is also important for them to know that having sex before marriage does not relate to it. Because it is as essential as the other needs we have in our life like that of having food, clothes, and love.
The very basis of our argument:
1) Marriageable age has been shifted from 18-22 to 26-30.
2) The generation and the thinking have apparently changed.
3) When we move out to other cities for further studies or jobs, there's something called 'love-sickness' that we feel, which sometimes ends us up to making up with our partner.
For the society:
I don't understand that are these ladies jealous... because they didn't get an opportunity to sleep with any guy before marriage? Or they are just maintaining their tag of 'gossiping ladies.'
I wonder that even if the Government of India legalizes it, even then people will not stop making an issue out of it.
As per the Holy Books of respective religions, the sayings do not approve to the fact of pre-marital sex. It is considered as forbidden.
But what is wrong with having sex before marriage? I mean just the physical status of the guy differs in pre and post marriage which is of temporariness and permanence.
I was in class 9th when I first started watching an English show. It was to improve my English, but apparently, I ended up getting attracted and fascinated towards the free culture they have. Yes, Non-Indian shows and movies have that capacity of generating sexual emotions in you.
The western culture is very modern, and it somehow becomes successful in influencing the people of India. But on an honest note, I don't think that adopting the western culture in becoming accessible with every guy you meet is bad, because certainly, this has the power to reduce the rates of rapes in the country. I mean if a person is easily available sexually, then the crime rates regarding rape will automatically decrease.
Say it when a girl is raped, or any other case where a lady fights for her respect, her virginity is the first thing she is questioned upon. Instead of hiding the fact, the female is being insulted.
If you want to physically connect yourself before marriage with someone you love or even in a casual way, take care of yourself lady. Do not just open up to anyone, and look for the precautions. Because even if the society stops speaking, it is your life, and only you have to take care of it.