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IN Lifestyle ON 19 Oct, 2016
You might have been or not been in a relationship before and are now headed towards marriage - an arranged marriage. What are the few things that first come to your mind when you plan to settle down with a complete stranger? Will I be able to adjust? Will she be ready to adjust? Will this marriage last long? How do I know if we will be compatible with each other? The list is long....
Some men are smart and know how to extract the necessary details from the girl and her family but there are some men who are reserved and won't know how to get the cat out of the bag. And it goes without saying that you got to know each other well before you decide to spend your life together.
So, here is a questionnaire that will help men in understanding the girl better and make the right choice when heading in the direction of an arranged marriage.
It is quite important to know if the girl is not being forced into marriage as otherwise, both of you will have problems in breaking the ice.
Get to know how she feels about this sacred institution and if she cares about relationships. After all, it is a long journey ahead and you don't want to be settling down with someone who doesn't believe in relationships and marriage.
Find out if she is a career oriented girl or would prefer looking after the family. Not all men want a working wife and not all women are homely.
Sharing mutual interests can help in building a happy bond. Find out if there is something you both have in common and if not, at least her areas of interest should not be something alarmingly different from yours. In case you both are worlds apart, you know what to do next.
Inquire about the qualities she wants in her prospective spouse and see how much do you fit in there. Also, try and find out what are some things she would definitely not want her husband to be doing (like smoking, drinking, gambling etc). If you are one of those men who have certain addictions, it is better to state it upfront instead of repenting later.
This question may sound a little too bold for starters but is a very important one. Not all people want to have kids and even if they do, they want to enjoy the initial phase of their married life before taking up further responsibilities. You may want to keep that in mind....
Some women get married for emotional stability while others want financial security and still others may just want to have a loving partner for life. Get to know what she is looking for from this marriage and if that is something you are willing to give.
Women of today are mostly independent and some are even the sole bread winners of their house. It is your responsibility to find out if she has some members who are dependent on her and in case there are, you should be ready to let her continue and/or even join hands with her to take care of them. However, the choice is solely yours!
Ask her about her friend circle, her vacation ideas and what she prefers to do in her leisure time. Is she a party animal or enjoys watching movies at home? Does she socialize a lot or sticks to weekly meetings and get-togethers with her friends? Think about your lifestyle and see if you both can gel well.
Last but not the least, ask her what she feels about you. Does she feel you meet her expectations? If the answer is positive, then here's a BIG CONGRATULATIONS to both of you!
Wish you a very happy married life!