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IN Lifestyle ON 12 Oct, 2016
Samaira will soon be tying the knot with Jaden this month and is so excited to be finally able to settle down. She turned 32 in March and is the only one in her friend circle to be enjoying a singleton life till now. However, her friends and relatives have all been very supportive of her decision to spend her life with Jaden, who she met a year ago at work. Despite taking such a lot of time to finally announce her marriage, the soon-to-be-wedded girl is still full of many doubts and apprehensions.
Samaira is pretty, talented, and a career-oriented woman who also loves her family to bits. She is not sure if Jaden and his family will allow her to pursue her dreams and spend time with her family after marriage. She is sceptical and nervous if she will be expected or forced to undergo some changes after becoming a wife and daughter-in-law. She has always been a liberated woman and now with marriage on cards, is overcome by the fear of the unknown.
With a head full of doubts, she plans a get together with her girlfriends expecting to find answers to her questions. Her friends are all married and some even have kids. Leveraging their experience, here is what her friends advise her on what not to change after marriage.
Samaira's friends tell her that her name is her identity. The world knows her as Samaira Gayle and that she has every right to keep it for life unless she is impressed by Jaden's surname and wants to share it. Though some women change their surname post-marriage following traditional practices, retaining the name given by parents is not a sign of disrespect. It merely means you prefer to preserve your identity.
The bride-to-be was a brilliant student and is now a smart woman who has a bright future. Her colleagues admire her dedication and her seniors consider her an asset to the organization. Samaira loves her job and would never want to give it away for the world. Her friends dare her to not give up working unless there is a dire situation that takes precedence over her career.
Samaira's friends look at each other with a twinkle in their eyes that shows how proud they are to be with each other. They tell Samaira how friends go on to become a part of your life and what it is to have true friends even after marriage. They have always supported each other, given frank and honest opinions in situations that demanded so, and have never let depression crawl up. They ask her to promise that she will always make time to hang out with friends and will always reach out to them whenever required.
Relationships, just like friends, are not to be given up post marriage. Samaira's friends explain how important it is to keep in touch with all your relatives and never throw them out of your life, even after marriage. It is as important to maintain your current relationships as it is to enter into and nurture new relationships with husband's family.
Each one of us has a dream and we should try our level best to fulfil them. It is one life that we have and we shouldn't let it slip away. Continue dreaming, continue striving towards achieving them, and never give into marital pressures and responsibilities, is what the girls advised Samaira.
Samaira is a fashionable woman who keeps abreast with latest trends. She has never bothered what others would think about her dressing sense and has led a carefree life till now. Her friends have always appreciated her fashion sense and advise her never to change her fashion choices and preferences for anyone. She has a good taste and should enjoy wearing whatever she wants. It is her life and she has every right to live it the way she wants.
Most of the women give up their freedom and let their husband and his family to interfere. They have to seek their husband's consent if they wish to go out or even buy some stuff. They don't even get to enjoy some lone and leisure time, thanks to the multitude of responsibilities that come with marriage. One of Samaira's close friend shares how she felt trapped post marriage and had to finally file for divorce to get her freedom back.
Like every other smart human being, Samaira too has always been independent and has taken her own decisions. Her friends counsel her not to give in to her in-laws or allow them to bog her down and disrespect her opinions. She has every right to take decisions that she feels are good for her and her family. She shouldn't shy away from sharing her opinions and thoughts whenever required and use her decision-making skills in matters that matter.
As you grow, you start believing in some things. With time you realise, what's right and what's not. You may be a firm believer of a particular practice and school of thought that can be questioned or made fun of by others. It is imperative that you stand your ground and never let anyone shake your beliefs. Samaira feels enlightened when her friends talk about their beliefs and how they still live by them.
Some husbands do not like it if their wife visits or talks to her parents and siblings often. Myra, one of Samaira's friends tells her how her husband had restricted her visits to her parents that left her depressed. It is later that Myra's husband realised that his wife was missing her parents and finally apologised for his behaviour. Every woman has the right to meet her family whenever she wishes to and can also help them financially if required. It is her parents and siblings she has spent the majority of her life with and it is impossible for her to just leave them on their own after her marriage.
Shutting down or deleting your social media profiles is not something that a woman should do after marriage. Samaira's friend tells her that all her friends and relatives on her social media accounts would love to stay in touch with her through networking sites and get to share happy and sad times, at least over the internet. It is not always practical to be present at all occasions of your near and dear ones and hence social media is the best way to be able to witness some of those memorable moments.
As the clock strikes 8, Samaira and her friends wrap up the conversation and finish off the last bits of parmesan potato sticks. Samaira is overwhelmed and has a more confident body language, thanks to her friends who shared their post marriage experiences with her. Before parting ways for the day, Joanna, a mother of two and one of Samaira's oldest friends, tells her that she still remembers how Samaira enjoyed painting and how she would paint anything and everything she laid her hands on. She holds Samaira's hands and says, "Never let your talent go waste. You enjoy painting and you are good at it. Make time to follow your passion and never let your hobbies and interests take a back seat."
Samaira had a bunch of friends who guided her and advised her on what not to change after marriage. We hope you too have realised that you shouldn't change for anyone unless it is for a better cause or reason.