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IN Lifestyle ON 22 Oct, 2016
That nagging feeling which doesn't seem to leave us and keeps poking to continuously get into unhealthy competition with others is jealousy. It is a result of mindless comparison of what others have and you don't, without thinking in the least whether you deserve it or not.
Jealousy can also arise in a relationship and can eventually go on to become a relationship wrecker. When you make a place for jealousy in a relationship, all it does is ruin your peace of mind and leave you frustrated. It is a sickness, which if not worked on, can kill you slowly from inside out. Let's see how jealousy acts like a slow poison.
Our body responds to our emotions instantly. It is like a factory that feeds us with chemicals of what we are feeling or experiencing. If we are happy and relaxed, our body will produce chemicals that will work wonders on us. Alternatively, if we are upset, jealous, or stressing over something, our body will feed us with negative chemicals that will prove to be disastrous for our health. Toxic thoughts and emotions turn our body into a toxic system that can have some unwanted negative effects on us.
Your thoughts and emotions reflect in your personality. If you are jealous of someone, the moment you look at him/her, your body language will instantly reveal your feeling towards that person. You will have that sneering look in your eyes coupled with the application of bitter words that will make you look like a villain in the eyes of others. You obviously don't want it, right?
Jealousy is a state of envy, fear and/or suspicion. It arises when you feel threatened of losing someone valuable or missing something that you feel should belong to you. Some people confuse it with love, but at the core of all jealousy is fear and selfishness.
By being jealous, you are allowing your fears to manifest. You assume something to happen and start acting or preparing for it. It's your actions and thoughts that may pave way for the dreaded situations and make your fears come alive.
Letting negative thoughts and feelings overpower you leaves you at the mercy of them. You tend to spend time in thinking about what might happen, which in turn leaves you with no time to make amends or work in a positive direction. In short, you are simply wasting time that could have otherwise been used in something worthwhile.
Jealousy gives you the urge of taking control of others, especially in a relationship. You are always trying to control the actions of your bf/gf/spouse because you are afraid of losing them. In the process, you forget that it is impossible for anyone to control others; a person can only control or take charge of his/her own emotions and actions.
Your fear of losing someone valuable gives rise to obsession. You start stalking and following their moves and actions without being least bothered that you are in turn seizing their freedom. You tend to cling to them every time and question them every time they talk to someone else. This may be your way of showing love and care but it can piss off your partner big time. Respect the other person's space and NEVER barge into their freedom zone uninvited.
Obsession, by all means, leads to possessiveness. While some extent of possessiveness is acceptable, an excess of it can be a major turn-off for your partner. It shows your lack of trust in him/her and can backfire in case your partner is a carefree person who loves to enjoy life and is social. You don't own anyone and nobody owns you!
Osho says, "People think they know what love is – they do not know. And their misunderstanding about love creates jealousy. By love people mean a certain kind of monopoly, some possessiveness – without understanding a simple fact of life: that the moment you possess a living being you have killed him."
It's way easier to ruin a relationship than to create and nurture it. A simple act of misunderstanding, too much control, and poking into each other's life, asking them to cut off from the rest of the world and continuously questioning their actions can show you don't trust your love. Love cannot blossom without trust and such insecurities lurking in your mind will only act as a deterrent in your relationship.
Your jealousy can be mistaken for your insecurities because it is only you who can feel the emotions. Nobody else will understand what's going on in your mind and that leaves you fighting a lone battle within yourself. In the end, it is just you who keeps over thinking mindlessly and suffer at the hands of this slow poison called jealousy.
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