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IN Lifestyle ON 12 Sep, 2016
We cannot have the universe altogether because according to a saying, you cannot be on the Earth and the sky at the same time. In a greed to have everything, you will obviously create anger within you.
I might be sounding too heavy right? But this is something we all should know about ourselves at all times of life. If you are a parent, you have to learn to control your anger to teach your child and if you are a child then you have to learn to control your anger to lead a peaceful life.
My father always says that the energy you waste in outbursting your anger, you can save it to invest in something productive. The strength that you waste in arguing, can be invested in something fruitful.
We all know that anger is our biggest enemy and it is also necessary to divert the anger in a positive way because as Osho says "If you do not let out your anger, it goes on being accumulated within, and you go on becoming more and more angry, because more and more energy is accumulated within as anger -- suppressed, so you are divided into two -- a false smile and a real anger"
So come, let us understand what is anger in real, what are the forms of outbursts and how to tackle them.
This feels like a volcano eruption. You may even think of murdering someone where nobody thinks of you as a suspect and not you yourself because psychologists say that an intelligent man is bound to think of suicide at least ten times in his life and ten thousand times you think to murder someone. Obviously, you would think that we would NEVER think of doing this but the thing is that you can do it.
This comes out as a result of your frustration when you are done with yelling at others or you choose it as the other way round of your anger because if the other person shouts back at you, you will be ready with an excuse that you were just kidding.
You start influencing yourself that you are okay but your anger starts accumulating inside you. You will then start faking your smile and reflect a hidden anger, where you have got to realise that you are deceiving yourself and nobody else. And all this will lead to you fighting with yourself. But don't create falsity around you otherwise in real you will start burning from inside.
You start blaming yourself ultimately, if your anger is not burst out. You start underestimating yourself for being non-deserving for the other person and sometimes you think that it is easier to be mad at yourself than at someone else.
This style of anger comes out in a way of taking small revenge from someone, you ruin or destroy something of others that they love the most and also you hate confrontation.
You get irritated at small things, you get annoyed at people for no reason, you spit out anger of one person on another and you yourself don't realise sometimes.
Yeah the pillow, the most innocent and feasible prey of our anger. There is no need to allow your thinking to kill somebody. You can write the name of the person on the pillow or even stick a picture and let out your violence on it. Beat the pillow, kill the pillow, do everything with the pillow that you want to do with that person. And don't think that you are being silly because this is you, it is just that you need to realise the inside of you. Be the stupidest of yourself because no one is watching you, and just allow your anger to kill the person in the pillow.
The basic thing you need to understand is that it is not only your mind and anger hormone that is reacting but every cell and every fibre in your body gets mad while you are angry. Therefore, you need to relax to calm down the monkeyness in your body. And it is also important for you to know that if you force your anger into silence then either you will not succeed in it or if you will succeed you will move into sleep. Thus, meditation is one formula you should adopt.
This is something which I myself never realised, that whenever you are mad, you are angry with yourself and not with others, but you go on projecting on to others This is because you are missing yourself. Things and situations sometimes are not under your control, you are not able to achieve something and time is flowing. Just because you are not getting any platform to explore your potentialities, you start getting frustrated and start throwing anger onto others. So, give time to yourself, choose 'aloneness' and not 'loneliness'.
Identify focusing on things that make you go mad, You can try to change the course of things that has been happening in your house or surroundings. If people are not changing then you can change, if people are not worried, then you can alter.
You need to understand that it is not a question of anger but it is a question of self-realization, because of your anger, you start feeling against the world. "A buddha is silent and non-violent, not because he has practiced it, but because now he has realized himself." One needs to analyse oneself and when you are at ease, you will find peace within yourself. Then you will only be creative and no signs of destructiveness will exist within you.
Greed is there, anger is there, irritation is there but learn to suppress it, because you will lead to nothing. The best way to avoid disputes is by deviating your anger at its very initial stage but if you don't learn, it can also last for days.
People with weak soul are more likely to get affected with anger and get encouraged to take revenge who wronged them. You think of ways to hurt them or snatch their loved things. You may even think of murdering them, as we discussed earlier.
We all know that anger is temporary insanity, so why do we allow it to take over us everytime? All you need to do is not allowing anger to convert into something else. Practice anger control ways but letting your madness take control of you would ruin things because if you don't then your whole life and energy is wasted and dissipated in this fight. And the fight is stupid, but this is happening. You know this is a waste, but you are fighting.
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