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10 Most Ridiculous Ways Jeff Weiner Can Spend $26 Billion In A Week

There is something significant about LinkedIn that we must watch out for.

Just yesterday, June 13, 2016, Microsoft announce in an official press release that they will be purchasing LinkdIn Corporation for a total of $26 Billion, with $196 per share, inclusive of LinkedIn's net monetary amount. To date, this merger phenomenon is regarded as the biggest technological company acquisition by far, even much higher than the instance when Facebook bought WhatsApp for only $22 Billion. 

Too many eyes have diverted their attention in these merging companies, especially on its implications on the stocks, economical activities, manpower and other aspects comprising the companies involved. So far, the growth of the company skyrocketed on many levels: increase in website's global members, great improvement on the side of site visitors and traffic, mobile usage, addition of more job listings and the likes. This major transaction is expected to be disclosed within this calendar year, and according to the agreements made by LinkedIn CEO Jeff Weiner, the identity of the company will remain independent from Microsoft, but at the bigger picture, these companies will have a stronger institutional bond gearing towards economic rise and a smarter business venture.

Putting this major event aside, let's give our full attention to LinkedIn's corresponding monetary price: $26 billion. It was established that Jeff Weiner truly possesses a very progressive leadership ability, and a very brilliant business strategy. We can never have to doubt how he utilizes money with respect to cash flow, demands, other professional affairs and non-professional affairs; but as people concerned about this enormously large monetary value, we can never deny that it's worth wondering: how would he spend $26 Billion? What if he has the chance to spend this money just for a week? Would anyone mind to think of it? 

When nobody's into this, we still have found enough stuff to justify how could he possibly spend it. Apparently, there are some which could be stupid or detrimental. 

Without further ado here are ten of the most ridiculous ways Linkedin CEO Jeff Weiner can spend $26 Billion in a week. 


10 Most Ridiculous Ways Jeff Weiner Can Spend $26 Billion In A Week

10 Most Ridiculous Ways Jeff Weiner Can Spend $26 Billion In A Week

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  in Technology

1. Buy $26 Billion worth of color-coded uniforms.

1. Buy $26 Billion worth of color-coded uniforms.

As LinkedIn is not a fashion show, it's not also a uniform-tolerating institution. Stop mocking Mark Zuckerberg on his consistent gray-themed wardrobe. 

2. Giving more iPad minis, or any other newly-released Apple product

2. Giving more iPad minis, or any other newly-released Apple product

Obviously, Apple is a moral enemy, technologically speaking. It would break the competition between them, but it would really look so awkward then this gadget-giving ceremony got repeated in history. Apple is never Microsoft. Find another smartphone other than this!

3. Invest in a dying company.

3. Invest in a dying company.

Choosing to 'save another company's life' can be too risky for LinkedIn. This flaw may drag the company down, or may soon lose it's controlled and would end up losing the game.

4. Not providing more monetary incentives and stock bonus to LinkedIn employees.

4. Not providing more monetary incentives and stock bonus to LinkedIn employees.

Last March 2016, business people and other followers got impressed with the very overwhelming risk-taking skills and generosity Jeff provided on is employees. $14 Million incentive is too much for a monetary reward. But since there's another huge positive economical leap happening to the company, employees deserve more surprises and gifts. If Jeff decides to invest to somewhere unethical or disgusting it's horrible not to give most of the amount otherwise.

5. Purchase more stocks in LinkedIn to make it appear that bigger investors are flocking the site.

5. Purchase more stocks in LinkedIn to make it appear that bigger investors are flocking the site.

Although it may appear as a huge leap for the economic health of the company. It may soon be unsustainable, profit-maximizing wise. If speculations appear legitimate, it may still not look cool. There's more to life than investing in stocks.

6. Major whole-body physical augmentation (Have that more alluring curves, unexpected sexy abdomen, and the likes) 

6. Major whole-body physical augmentation (Have that more alluring curves, unexpected sexy abdomen, and the likes) 

It's going to be 150% disgusting when he reaches the point of thinking about using such money for augmentation purposes, plastic surgery and the likes. It's such a waste of money, and it is pretty scary to look at failed ruining physical results. 

7. Investing more than half of the acquisition price to the merger's charity.

7. Investing more than half of the acquisition price to the merger's charity.

Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is truly a noble charitable institution, but wouldn't it sound awkward and impractical to put some riches on this specific charity? As we clearly know it, Bill Gates and his family owns Microsoft (although they already have a different actively-operating CEO for the company), and if LinkedIn would invest at the cause, the money (even at a very stardust amount) would just go back to the rich elite pair.

8. Put up LinkedIn events everyday for a week, with all expenses-paid for all attendees.

8. Put up LinkedIn events everyday for a week, with all expenses-paid for all attendees.

May it be a Microsoft-LinkedIn employees acquaintance party, a merger orientation, a grand party for both companies, or series of intellectual talks to all LinkedIn users around the world, nothing is worth it for $26 Billion. Events do not live and thrive only from too much money. They need extensive planning, proper execution, and responsible management as it affects the image of the company.

9. Travelling around the world for no business-related reasons.

9. Travelling around the world for no business-related reasons.

Splurging $26 Billion by just going to another country solely for leisure is a double-edged sword. If relaxation is the main reason, it may sound acceptable. But then, for a very strategic businessman like Jeff, migrating for nothing is a taboo. He could give millions to the poor, or could donate to a legitimate charity, or could put up a local LinkedIn chapter; but if he and his family, or professional friends would go to waste too much resources, it's a big no-no.

10. High-definition cameras for future pictorial of the merging companies.

10. High-definition cameras for future pictorial of the merging companies.

Well, nobody has heard of the level of vanity these CEO could have behind their very professional and credible persona. But what if they've awaken this urge to invest on exploring their photogenic sides? We'll never know. 

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