Playing around with your 'package' may be one of the most embarrassing worldly things people could catch you doing. Well, there's no greater escape when being caught in the act that being true to yourself, and dealing with it with enough grace and justification.
If you happen to be an avid masturbator, and at your age you still find it hard to hide your sexual urges while in your bedroom, you must at least be fine about doing the best artistic things to divert that disturbed attention to something else that's more important, or less stressful.
Let's see how things would come about when you're caught masturbating.
Stay aggressive and call the cops. In this world, only moms can have the right to see their son's developed organ, and an unexpected masturbation.
He would not even tell you about this, you're just being too much about his privacy.
Your mom would understand especially when you include technological advancement on your justification on why did you resort in that kind of activity.
Would that be flattering or disgusting? It depends, actually.
...as well as those filthy whitish fluids flying around the room. These spirits give you headaches, so blame them in front of your believer parents.
With the matching expression "How else can I help you?" Very much like a customer service representative.
"Mom, Who cares? It's my sexy body anyway?"