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You Know Your Sex Life Is Screwed When You Experience Anything Like This

There is a very thin line between perfect sex and an awkward life. For adults and sexually active folks out there, providing a lasting, unforgettable service to your other half, or make-out partner make up too much of your ego and personality. When the one you are doing this with feels some kind of negation while you're into it, it's a little bit depressing or disappointing. We need to make sure that if you're experiencing this regularly, you'll have to take this oath:

"This is going to be the last time I'll be sexually stupid. If it is not necessary to do such, do not submit to it. Sex is a precious moment, and it is not a casual activity that gives only little aches and regrets. Sex is a masterplan. Sex makes life good as it needs timing and perfection." 

Serve this as your illustrative reference. In order for you to get away from awkwardness and ego issues, take note of the following scenarios. You must know what to do. Screw up not.  

You Know Your Sex Life Is Screwed When You Experience Anything Like This

You Know Your Sex Life Is Screwed When You Experience Anything Like This

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Preliminary check: resorting to manly features and other stuff

Preliminary check: resorting to manly features and other stuff

Pretty sure, if you've been to one of these, it ruined more than half of your life. Get over your ego. Make sex performance-based, not features-based. It doesn't matter where you're coming from or what you have or don't have. This is about being honest, and bringing the best moves.

Some school encounters?

Some school encounters?

Be a good example. Play it well.

Witty, surprising but says a lot

Witty, surprising but says a lot

Please be kind. The world is still better than you, sexually. Be humble while having sex, they say.

Accidentally sexual

Accidentally sexual

Keep an eye on the things you're currently doing, not on those who will do you.

Time-travelers or raiders without search warrants?

Time-travelers or raiders without search warrants?

It's a very hard thing to deal with. The nearly-best thing you can do is to keep your stuff in place. Make it appear that sex is not what they see. Say, you're having some role playing--one's a horse and the other's a jockey. Or, just keep it simple. Kill them with a gun. Kidding. Ask for privacy and respect. You know you're doing what is right anyway.

Oh, Tigger. Some stuff is meant to happen

Oh, Tigger. Some stuff is meant to happen

Animals, stuffed toys and fantasy is part of our lives, right? Set them aside if you're really decided to get into the thing.

Safe sex is the key

Safe sex is the key

If you never plan to have unexpected births, or some fetus formation, please be calm enough. Do not wish for more. For those who are very sexually active, have some protection. It's better to be safe than sorry. Cliche but cool.

"So, you could keep me inside my pocket on a ripped jeans"

"So, you could keep me inside my pocket on a ripped jeans"

Don't say bad, off words. If you think things are going great for you, it doesn't always apply to your other half. Be sure you really did your best for that.

Not sure if foreplay, nag or a random garden cleaner?

Not sure if foreplay, nag or a random garden cleaner?

It happens a lot of times--distractors' intervention. Solution? Put some thick curtain to your clear glass window. Schedule your sex beyond garden cleaning period, and the likes. More importantly, check the doors if they're locked, if your children is in school or fully asleep; and lastly, make sure that you give them enough school allowance.

Sweet dreams on a beautiful nightmare

Sweet dreams on a beautiful nightmare

But not in the most awkward parts of your comfort room life.

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