15 Most 'Accurate' Gay $ex Facts Ever

15 Most 'Accurate' Gay $ex Facts Ever
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Gay sex is way more than what you think you know. There are so many aspects you are completely unaware of.  I am here to help you unlock these secrets (trust me, I know). So here we bring you the 15 Most 'Accurate' Gay Sex Facts Ever.

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1) It all starts with a shirtless man.

1) It all starts with a shirtless man.

Okay, everyone knows how we just crave half/full nude men. So unless at least a shirtless guy asks you out, you don't agree.

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2) The date starts with a shit load of vibrantly colored drinks.

2) The date starts with a shit load of vibrantly colored drinks.
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ALL GAY MEN MUST HAVE VIBRANTLY COLORED DRINKS. Universal gay manual, page 32, rule 7.

3) Followed by a musical, like duh!

3) Followed by a musical, like duh!
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Musicals were practically made for gay men, look at a random poster I fetched out. Plus, high drama, high pitched voices, I mean what defines a gay man better?

4) The musicals help in building the sexual tension.

4) The musicals help in building the sexual tension.
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With all the scales that one hears, it's only natural that one would want to flirt after that. A musical is the best way to channel the inner energy into sexual energy!

5) Then follows the test of flamboyancy. You have to prove your gay worthy-ness.

5) Then follows the test of flamboyancy. You have to prove your gay worthy-ness.
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1) Must always have glitter.

2) Must have hand gestures.

3) Must like fashion. Just a few things that are tested.

6) Playing the correct music to set the mood. Usually, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Cher are the prime choices.

6) Playing the correct music to set the mood. Usually, Lady Gaga, Beyonce, Cher are the prime choices.
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Now, gay men usually get hard listening to Lady Gaga, Cher, Britney, Beyonce, and some other pop icons, so hence, there are the obvious choices to set the mood.

7) Taking off the cloths. Its a big step, and cant be done just in flow like straight couples.

7) Taking off the cloths. Its a big step, and cant be done just in flow like straight couples.
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Now, the thing you must know about gay sex is that clothes don't come off in the heat of the moment, they are too expensive to be just ripped right apart. Both men stand on the either corners of the bed, take off their clothes, and neatly stack them in a pile.

8) Then the preamble of the 'Big Holy Gay Book Of Satanic Worshiping' is narrated by both the participants, in unison.

8) Then the preamble of the 'Big Holy Gay Book Of Satanic Worshiping' is narrated by both the participants, in unison.
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Before one engages in a sexual act, it's important that the gods of gay sex and the Satan himself are summoned and prayed to. The preamble basically assures them of a gay man performing his duties to 'infect' people with homosexuality and to continue to commit sins. I don't want to bore you with the entire text.

9) After the preamble narration, its time for sex.

9) After the preamble narration, its time for sex.
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The sex is pretty much what you'd imagine, with positions such as 'who is the man', 'its unnatural', 'see you in hell', 'satan worshiper', etc.

10) Equal parts of glitter and unicorn poop is mixed to make a special lube.

10) Equal parts of glitter and unicorn poop is mixed to make a special lube.
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Only this lube must be used, else a gay man might turn straight. Ingestion of this lube is safe for a gay man only.

11) The orgasmic sounds are usually 'Guuurrl!', 'Yaaaaaaas', or 'Slay Mama!'

11) The orgasmic sounds are usually 'Guuurrl!', 'Yaaaaaaas', or 'Slay Mama!'
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Though 'Guuurrl!' or 'Yaaaaaaas' might be used for regular basis, 'Slay Mama!' is usually reserved for special occasions and extraordinary pleasures.

12) Ejaculation resembles a confetti cannon for both the members.

12) Ejaculation resembles a confetti cannon for both the members.
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Just that the source of all the confetti is a gay man's dick. And yeah, it sprays around the room just like the original cannon.

13) Once both the men have climaxed, a rainbow appears on top of the bed, and a unicorn flies across the room.

13) Once both the men have climaxed, a rainbow appears on top of the bed, and a unicorn flies across the room.
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The intensity of the rainbow would differ on the intensity of the orgasm. Also, in some cases, the rainbow would have glittering.

14) Once the entire business is finished, the dressing up begins, leading to questioning the fashion choices of the other guy.

14) Once the entire business is finished, the dressing up begins, leading to questioning the fashion choices of the other guy.
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Now, when they are done, those neatly piled stack of cloths need to be put back on. Usually, criticizing one's fashion choices becomes very evident at this point.

15) Then with the help of a neuralyzer, the events are forgotten, and both men walk their separate paths.

15) Then with the help of a neuralyzer, the events are forgotten, and both men walk their separate paths.
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Sometimes the two may repeat the entire cycle again, because of no memory of it happening, so..