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IN Health & Fitness ON 18 Nov, 2015
No inhibitions at all, your bodies begin to move rhythmically in bed, all your emotions are heightened as if, this is the most intense feeling you've ever had. The pair of lips press against each other, one body thrusts another in bed, and the pain serves its purpose with pleasure.
After a few minutes of some uncomfortable pelvic thrusting with no climax in sight, you decide, you have no choice but to put on the show, moaning softly at first, working your way up until you have convinced your partner.
Yes, it's true that women fake orgasm. But why do they fake it sacrificing those full-of-pleasure moments?
Scientists believe that faking orgasms serve the evolutionary purpose of keeping a mate. Dressing is one of the male retention behaviors. The fake orgasm outside ovulation (when conception is highest for women), may function to encourage the male's investment and commitment in the relationship.
According to the theory of selective sperm retention, the female orgasm functions to retain the sperms of the man with 'good genes'. These sperms are more likely to fertilize and procreate offspring that share these "good genes."
Eboni Harris believes the theory of mate retention stems from the competition that exists in the bedroom. "Women tend to think if they are the best at taking care of their man (including sexually); he will not need to seek other mates. This is how women get caught up in trying to be a porn star for their partners and stop focusing on what pleases them," she told Medical Daily.
Faking orgasm gives rise to the belief that all that matters in the bed is men's needs.
The problem is, when sex becomes more of a chore in falsely validating the man, it loses its essence of pleasure, says Dr. Judi Cineas. "Instead of focusing on letting loose and enjoying the experience, the goal becomes making sure that the man's sense of machismo is reinforced," Cineas told Medical Daily.
"Women often expect their male partners to be dominant in the bedroom as much as men pride themselves as being Alpha males in the bedroom," Bobbie Morgan, sex blogger of A Good Woman's Dirty Mind told. "It's part of the wish fulfillment and fantasy aspects of sex." This subconsciously establishes the assigned gender roles both men and women assume in the bedroom.
The theory that women fake orgasm is largely male-eccentric but what if faking orgasm actually enhances sexual experience? Women actually fake orgasm to pursue a positive sexual outcome. In fact, it can promote the relationship and enhance sexual pleasure. Therefore the more positive energy you channel during your sex, the more likely you will have a better sexual experience.
Not every woman climaxes during vaginal intercourse. "There are women who are not comfortable having orgasms, or don't have them easily or at all, and faking it gets them out of what they feel is the pressure of having one naturally," April Masini, relationship expert and author, told.
There is a long list of reasons of why women fake orgasms. But the question is, should you fake it? Not necessarily. You should use it as an opportunity to learn about your body. Faking it detracts from intimacy and trust. There are various ways to talk to your partner about what feels good and what does not in the bedroom.
Although G-spot exists or not is still up for debate. However, Walfish believes that women can reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse when it co-exists with clitoral stimulation, "whether it's the friction of your partner's pubic bone area rubbing against the clitoris or you and your partner's hand on the clitoris for additional stimulation."