On 07-Feb-2018 In Relationship
Disclaimer: The write-up below is totally based on my personal opinion. The readers of this might have a different opinion and that is respected as well. This is not intended to hurt feelings and it's just a result of my personal experiences and views.Growing up, I always thought love was something that we fall into easily but it fades away like anything as the time passes. I might not argue if love exists or it doesn't, but to the most part, I can convince you that the thing we assume as love is just an illusion and it fades as soon as we have it. It attains the saturation point in a 'flash' and you'll agree once you read this...
If you notice, 'Love is just a metaphor with a little romantic shit we mix'.
Okay, so being here on earth for around 21 years now and experiencing the personal surroundings, I am sure that no fucking power in the world can convince me that love is real and it can last forever.Take parents for example; you think they love each other? Is it love holding them together? Or is it just a chain of responsibilities they are tied to or maybe something else (not love for sure). Haven’t you noticed them regretting the idea of getting married and then having kids? Now, they just seem bound by the rules of society and don’t have any other option but to live the rest of their lives together. This way, they probably won’t regularly regret the decision of getting married for the rest of their lives, but they will always know that their lives could have been much better if they hadn’t given a shit about love or society.I am not saying that they hate each other or anything and agree that there might be some 'perfect' couples still alive on this planet (at least I would love to believe). This whole thing written above might have hurt you but the problem is, I have never seen anything great in falling in love or even marriages for that matter.Fun fact: I hate marriages more than I hate the idea of love.
When we start dating someone, at the beginning, we think of it as heaven and we believe in this concept so blindly that even knowing it is not going to be perfect, we jump into it. It seems like an actually beautiful road that we never crossed but desperately want to, and as soon as we get to the end, we realise we better would have never walked on it. And then, it kind of gets hard to return back from the void and willingly/unwillingly we or most of us just stay.
...that 'nothing in life is fucking perfect', I know and I agree but why the hell do you want to get married and make the life of another person imperfect when you can just be alone and enjoy your own imperfection. This can just save you from being an imperfectionist in someone else’s life. I know it's getting too much against marriage and stuff but it's coming from my experience of having seen 10+ years of married lives shattering each other's happiness.
...we are selfish, and we should actually be. For a second, ask yourself one thing that you can have in marriage but cannot have without it. Sex? No! It's still gettable. Someone who cares for you? You can take care of yourself better than anyone in this whole world. Someone, who loves you? Again, love is all flash. An excellent wife who can cook for you or a husband who can keep you safe? If you want someone to get your daily tasks done (your wife is not a mere cook), better get a maid or a bodyguard. Someone, to have when you get old? We aren’t even sure if we are going to make it until tomorrow, are you sure you will make it till 70?
Sure, the one thing that people say, love has emotions but what if there is more of negative emotions than positive feelings. What if we feel too little in a happy manner and keep concentrating to make it better the rest of the time.
I often get into conversations with people of my age about this concept of love and marriage, and I assure you 10 out of 10 proudly claim that they will have the perfect marriage life one can ever have.Even if people say that marriage sucks and so does love (but people will eventually get married, and won’t give a shit about how their lives could have been a little better if they somehow had given a little shit while making this horrible decision).Being an Indian, we sadly don’t believe much in the concept of divorces. We should actually, I would have appreciated if our society could have accepted divorces or live-in relationships easily. These two life-saving options are best if you really want to test if love is made with some long-lasting superpowers or not. At least these two options enable people to make sure that love is fake because it is easier for them to get out of it with lesser pain than dying into it.
The population of the earth is around 8 billion and cutting every data down; we are still left with around 1 billion ‘suitable’ matches for a person. Then, I don’t get it how can we idiots fall in love and can call it love when we haven’t even met 200 people before calling a person perfect for us. Even if you could meet all of these 1 billion people, you will still not find even a single person so perfect that you will not regret getting married once, all according to me. That’s the whole point of it...
Another point that you might find hard to accept is the ”we change every day, so even if a person falls in love with you, you will eventually change from the person you are.” Sometimes it might go into the favour of the relationship, but sadly we don’t change in favour of it. The saturation theory makes us change in the opposite direction and hence the gap between the thoughts of two people keeps getting wide.
I might just believe in the concept of marriage if there was a tiny gape to get out of it. Yes, divorce is indeed a thing, but the problem with most of us is we just pretend there is no problem. I say give a fuck to your problems, think about them, try to get out of-of them. And the most probable escape to marriage would be a divorce. There is a saying ‘we often try to take a difficult road because it seems to have a better ending’. Similarly, in marriages we take the pain, sadness and live the concept on the verge, hoping that the end of the road will have something great for us. But, we could've better escaped that and enjoyed the journey. Point being, we often take marriages for granted and try to make it work; I say run from it. Be a coward but be a happy one.